he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
