no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
4 words: hood of his car
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
