We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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