I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
