I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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