What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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