she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
