Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
