From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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