we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
