Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
