Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
