i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
