these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
