wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
