Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize