He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
