these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
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Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
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She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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