Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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