i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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