i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
