I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
