I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
