I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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