Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
