i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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