This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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