Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
