just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
