If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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