Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
