after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Pooping to opera.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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