fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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