the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
never play flip cup with pint glasses
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
