Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.

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  (312): omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies (815): Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more. http://tfl.nu/camm
  Replies (13) Good night (804) Bad night (1728)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This girl wants me to lick her pits

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  pits??

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though

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  (402): This girl wants me to lick her pits (1-402): pits?? (402): Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though http://tfl.nu/86dv
  Replies (33) Good night (678) Bad night (4146)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles

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  (972): it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles http://tfl.nu/ysqd
  Replies (26) Good night (1005) Bad night (5085) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

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  (318): Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume. http://tfl.nu/rs73
  Replies (31) Good night (4518) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  ...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...

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  (410): ...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear... http://tfl.nu/jb6u
  Replies (14) Good night (6016) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?

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  (616): whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name? http://tfl.nu/f6w0
  Replies (13) Good night (5058) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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  (518): All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up http://tfl.nu/3pu3
  Replies (16) Good night (682) Bad night (4873) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?

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  (709): Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank? http://tfl.nu/b51n
  Replies (5) Good night (2046) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.

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  (509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5596) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.

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  (432): I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line. http://tfl.nu/q8nl
  Replies (20) Good night (4343) Bad night (731)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.

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  (781): I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone. http://tfl.nu/b6do
  Replies (6) Good night (755) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.

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  (919): I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping. http://tfl.nu/iyfp
  Replies (10) Good night (1899) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.

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  (409): I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look. http://tfl.nu/inz2
  Replies (4) Good night (430) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.

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  (563): You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/uumg
  Replies (4) Good night (697) Bad night (141)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.

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  (269): I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive. http://tfl.nu/3jo8
  Replies (2) Good night (242) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt

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