ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me