operation harelip BJ is a go
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding