Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.