some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
