Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
