Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
