Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
