So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Actions speak louder than pants.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
