Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
