..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
