I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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