For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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