can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Oh god it's open bar.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
