Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
In America we eat man semen.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
