Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish my penis had an off switch
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
