I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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