and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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