Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
