jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She's the barista slut.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
