New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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