Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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