just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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