I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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