Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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