Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
