I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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