am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
