Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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