Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
