try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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