we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
