***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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