and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
