No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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