i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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