just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
