The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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